And I prefer to date her for a while before I sleep with her. Oh yes it does. If he never asks or she never gives him a specific number then I do not think we should put that in the same category as a cheating wife. lol but seriously men and women should be viewed the same. Because if not, there should be no issue. Personally, I am a bit old fashionedI just think that having so many partners that you are ashamed to admit the number is disgusting. Which is why so many will lie about there number. The vagina is made to accommodate different sizes. number is half your age. Really think about this! I agree women would get jealous as well and prefer that men dont have much of a past that they have to compete with. But nonetheless your human bro. I guess people arent supposed to want what they want out of a person or relationship. 3) Psychological and Emotional problems (Most of the time promiscuous people are wildly insecure about themselves and or bad judges of character) I cried in front of my English teacher (badly), Do men act like jerk on purpose after sex. There is nothing pure about these women. That is precisely why He came to to do what we couldn't do for ourselves. Lets be serious. Also remember that promiscuity at the end of the day has nothing to do with whether youll get an STD because all it takes is having sex with ONE person, who could be your significant other, that has an STD to transmit it to you. last I will say is women can go abt sleeping, its okay if thats What u want Typically, people do not cheat simply because they are accustomed to being promiscuous (or have been in the past). my gf was honest about her past and i constantly bring it up whenever we argue not saying its right but I cant help but think about the number all the time. So if that woman is open and honest enough to tell that man her numbers, he may walk away from her before he even learns that she now does share the same values as he does. -Choices have consequences He thinks I was listening the whole time." Erin. Second, women are heavily criticized for having a lot of partners because they the ones making the final decision. Every partner you have in your lifetime affects you whether is positive or negative so if a person man or woman goes through so many People Theyre going to have a lot baggage. to pass on genes in males). I agree totally. Society is so flawed at this point in our lives that I almost feel in-adequately experienced enough to even attempt to date. Therefore I believe a woman should be more selective in who she chooses. You think people are using condoms at a high ratenope. It would be a horrifically frightening thing to have to stand before a Holy GOD and try to explain why we haven't been able to live up to HIS Holy standards. Yeahman, if I were you I'd just take this whole things easy and use the time to work on myself. You and your cohorts. To those guys dating a girl that has been around you know your boys are all laughing at you behind your back. It is much easier for a woman to sleep with a random man than vice versa. ever since the sexual revolution the chances for marriage in Western society have declined and its exactly because of the easy availability of poontang( and the attitude of divorce court towards men).Should not matter ? may get a good friend out of getting to know that person. Wow! That they must pay the price of their previous mistake (choice) and who they once were is how I will judge them today. Well said. The image of women as conservative and prudish has been in place since patriarchal days and were created by the fathers and prospective mates. Like legitimately, tell me why it matters. Some women do grow up but some still have the need to still sleep around even if they are married so over looking there past sexual habits and number of partners could lead down the road of heartach and waisted time along with a bad divorce and if kids are involved then a life time of drama and kids being neglected physically and finacially and Im speaking from experiance cause we talked about her past and I truly though she would make a good wife but it truly wasnt out of her system. But if you only had one burger, that one burger would be your set standard. OK maybe not free you might need to tell her its OK were all equal ect ect so some effort is involved to get sex. Men should be held to the same standard as women when it comes down to numbers of sexual partners and until society enforces that men will continue to mess around because its ok for men because their held to a lower standard than women. contraception. Excessive promiscuity is linked directly to narcissism and mental instability. I was like this guy is a genius, supporting whorish ways but I understand you completely. Thats not cheating- thats having multiple partners because you dont want to be tied down to one relationship. And, if many guys were blatantly honest with themselves and others, they would probably admit to being more promiscuous than their significant others. I agree we should be honest, but when society creates such negative dialogue about women who have taken this route, it makes it harder be open and honest about it. For those who choose not to tell their mate about their pastWell, their mate just wouldnt know about it. In fact, you should give yourself time to grieve the sin (Ecclesiastes 3:4; 2 Corinthians 7:10). Men have to work to get sex, women dont. It does matters aint nobody wifein hoes you dumb ass stop debating with tha worldnobout this bs cause if it didnt matter then women wouldnt have that label hoe so shut ur bitch ass up you erased my opinion. Just doesnt have the same ring to it. This is only my input on the subject as I have been tackling this topic for weeks now and I am open to everybody's opinion. I would find disgusting to kiss a woman of that kind. Hi Stephan. lover constantly complains that you nag them, try and find ways to fix this So a man can use that as a measuring stick all he wants, but the reality is he may forever be getting false data. enjoy has lead to a downward spiral in the family, out of control divorce 1. I understand that, that may have not been what you were implying but the implication is there. Yes some women can bond with a man after their promiscuity days, but how many divorces still occur? On March 12, 2003, 15-year-old Elizabeth Smart was found safe nine months after being abducted from her family's home in Salt Lake City, Utah. severely damage your relationship and possibly end it; trust is very important. You know I feel you Jennifer. You still come right? Cool : ) yeah a topic such as this can easily lead to some misunderstandings but Im glad we cleared that up. Again the difference between a woman who you thought you love and the one that she becomes whens she says her number is the same as living in a lie (for example the wife of a child rapist, she may be very happy with her husband till she finds her husband was a child rapist 10 years ago ) It is just living a lie that woman is just not the person you think she is I can only say that when I look at my wife I see the most beautiful and pure thing in the creation if she would come and tell me she had 50 other men I would be devastated and I could never look at her in the same way. Why is that so conveniently forgotten? Stephen are u being real? Who has moved forward and disregarded her past. You can try to explain Him out of existence all you want. My point in the end is although it shouldn't matter, it does. The idea that a large percentage of dudes do want to settle down or have only LTR's shouldn't be news to anyone. How about judging a woman by her mind, her intelligence and her kindness? it depends on the vagina not the number of guys. Of course, that was music to my earsbut, I am very realistic and pragmatic. So I just focused on the specific concern of the number of men a woman has slept for this. So the numbers are irrelevant. Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? A pedophile cant make a mistake. Doesnt mean a man will like it, but is it really worth letting go of a good thing because of a number. The man may never know that these men were chosen by her respectively and a mutual feeling of attachment existed if he only looks at the number and views the wild party scene when none may have existed. Ive read a couple of your blogs, and I think youre a great writer with even greater things to say ! a lot of double standards as usual in todays society yes maybe people are a bit too free or promiscuous but a number shouldnt affect you or eat you up inside and if it does could mean you missing out on a, sex and b, someone special. I completely understand where you are coming from Kabdog but I have to respectfully disagree. Though we choose to connect her baggage to the amount of partners she has had, it really isnt about the actual number. Ladies need to just respect themselves overall. about their past. I found out she was very open about hooking up and put herself on "hook-up" websites where she could trade nude pictures with random men who just were looking for flings. It doesnt really save more hearts and feelings, it just postpones the pain. Just b/c those were accpetable practices in the past doesnt mean we as a society have to continue to adhere to them and perpetuate their message. View her for who she is today, not the person she may have been previously. hide ourselves in does not preclude that: it is a make or break answer. Dont judge. I still disagree with your overall position on the matter. yeah of course it matter because a hoe is a hoe. No matter where you go and no matter how much you pray to the Lord for time to pass and grant you maturation. know if your lover truly loves you for who you are if they dont know. If she is raped, she is at fault and will be executed period. . As sad and hard as it seems its true So what if she runs across someone she slept with in the past? There is nothing wrong with your disagreement, but they way you go about it is very negative and very unnecessary. We all have pasts things we aren't proud of who she was isn't who she is. Today, the women are the same. Plus you want someone who loves you for who you really are and you will never Neighbor, as long as you carry that deeply engrained mindset you will have nothing but uphill battles in all of your personal romantic relationships. It helps with understanding them fully, but it should not be used to pass judgement in any way. up a****le (Jerkwhatever feels right at the time. choose the best possible man, or to be exact, provider. It was about not wanting to be holding hands or walking down the street with a female and having dudes walking by that shes slept with or the possibility of them making any comments butwhat dude can say theyve only been with a handful of women. And you, or any other woman can do whatever she wants, and be as promiscuous as she wants. In todays age just go to pub or bar and buy the drinks for the women and they can have sex with any unknown person ( what does that mean Slut right). We are called to Love, but how can we do that if we allow ourselves to judge and demonize others for their past decisions. I met her online, she opened up to me pretty much straight away and has always been very honest with me. This sort of behavior is causing the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. Now a days this is normal as it is hard to find a Virgin Girl as most of them had sex in their 15s or 16s. This statement makes no sense. No problem. I falled in love with a woman that had sex with around 700 partners before me. Leave this poor woman alone she doesn't have the issue you do. Not Females, you shall not fornicate. Trust anyone that knows me can tell you I dont even like describing women as hoes or whores I just wanted to use that term to make a point. We know how to say nothat is intended for the knuckle-dragging Neanderthals out there who have a standard. That little double-standard pointing finger that got as part of your hand needs to do a serious u-turn back to the purity? That will not change because of Americas pseudo progressive culture. Interesting. If you were full of life and it was so great and wonderful then you would ADMIT IT WITHOUT BEING ASHAMED. Im LOVING this.past partners MOST DEFINATELY have nothing to do with the present. Or not. Well sir, my past should not matter. When we first met, we did the whole discovery thing about each other and kind of asked about our pasts like two weeks into the relationship she mentioned she was with 10 guys or soI said about the same, I have to admit that I typically used that as a way to see if this person is a potential long time mate, same moral values, etc we were in our early twentiesThis woman became my one and only a month into itwhen you know, you just know!6 months into our relationship she tells me she has something to talk about, I say oklet me have it. Fifth So, I conclude that it IS relevant about women I Think that u r bringing this up is great and it needs to be talked about more.i Think when u Get older u Think more about this things and talk about it and see that people can change and of course u go thrue life experiance different things.we r not all the same and what people do different things and shouldnt be jugded by their past. If they are still like that and this doesnt play well in your life, move on. There is so much more to point too that have a greater impact on a failing marriage. breaker, find out the reason, spend time and get to know that person Fuckboys should marry women who slept around and end up opening the relationship when they will inevitably reach the point where they realize one dick or one vagina is no longer enough. Deal with them. He is the Lion and the Lamb. Also there may have been something lacking that led her back into her promiscuous ways, and a lot of women are not always forthcoming with there men about what is lacking and can be improved upon. Yeah I agree. But how will explain Him away on that terrifying, yet, Glorious Day when you actually do meet Him face to face? Thank you, Lord, for writing my name in Your Lambs Book of Life and sealing me with Your Holy Spirit! You see great qualities in everyone, and then you continue to look for them in others. I can forgive myself and others for what they have done if the guy truly loves me and has things i always wanted. Who you choose to share it intimately with matters. You just got the best husband around! So when they say save yourself for the right one remember the word ONE u can say girl see whats out there see what u like live life but remember u are not only keeping apart of that person u sleep with in you, you are also exposing that person to your future kids and shaming your future spouses bloodline stop trying to justify being a hoe. I will say that there are plenty reasons why it would be best for all to wait that can be applied to anybody regardless of their spiritual affiliation. Phsyically, Id agree. And, after that, he paid the most endearing miraculous amazing act on our behalf. We block love sometimes for all the wrong reasons, and how many men she has previously slept with should never be one of them. Secondly, men want to marry women who have not slept with a But here is what i do care about, how I get treated based on what she has gone through her past. Including that her family knows of this. STDs are always a risk, but that usually comes up pretty early, and even if there is an STD involved if you really want to bang anyway, that's what condoms are for. many people feel and learn otherwise. You will feel that you left . while there certainly can be concerns about patterns of behavior, don't let those feed your insecurities. He already feels guilty and deeply regrets disappointing you. made and consequences stem from them. Trust that she learned from them, and did the best she could with the information she had at the time. I hope your relationship benefits greatly from it. People are different, and want different things at different times in their lives. As far as Im concerned, he is the only man I can get sexually aroused by. All the sudden, I stopped wanting to sleep around and it was no longer enjoyable. She has actually opened a dialogue with me about the fast girls. I am confident that you two will overcome this and have a much better relationship now that counseling is in the picture. Because they are unable to control their own desires, delayed gratification is a component of intelligence and success. N women should respect themselves, and men should as well! The best way to evaluate who a person really is, is toyou knowactually look at how he/she has lived his/her life. Its not the most important factor. If your 30 and you had sex with 45 people, Now I will excuse most of the ignorant post below as I can appreciate that most of the beliefs that you all have that enraged me are based in religion, the way you were socialized, or etc. intimacy enough. My question ishow well do you believe your clever and sincere explanation will hold up while trying to explain it to Him personally? Stephan when you say up your game If you are average and a past lover of hers was well endowed there is nothing positions, creativity, or use of toys can compensate for. I have a BUNCH to say, but first lets address the wear and tear issue, it obviously has some relevance physically, but I would say it is mostly mentally destructive. It is the little matter of lying about the past that makes it untennable. Everyone has a right to their opinion and position. I find guys who sleep around to be disgusting also, but they aren't of any interest to me because I am a straight male. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Im selfish like that.LOL. If the number really didnt matter, couples could ask about it and And some dudes value the experience of a woman who has been around. if you take responsibility for your actions and see that it hurts your lover So know this, men will have their values, its just sad u will bypassed becos of it. She says she knew what she was doing but to me it seems like she was being used, and that hurts. Not every girl will be good for you, but if you can get the one that's right for you, your marriage life is going to be great. These weren't the low quality dudes either. I reinforced that sex was a major responsibility, must be done with responsibility, and that I definitely preferred that she would wait until she was marriedbut that if something changedprotection was a must! Finally one day it comes out, and the number is higher than you thought or like. Being forced into prostitution is tantamount to being raped, and is not a choice the woman made, and is therefore not reflective of her. Its more like rape in nature than sex but the female does not sleep aroundstudy this if you must knowand God says so too! The only difference between a 50 yr old with 1 partner and a 50 yr old with 20 partners is how long it took to find the right person. I will say I still do think it is best for everybody to slow things down and if possible wait. Back in the day (I mean waaayyyy back lol) it was all about having a virgin. I appreciated the honesty and had no problem with it. It shined light on a topic most people dont elaborate on. CLICK HERE to download this special report. How many is to many partners for both men and women? At the end of the day none of those could capture her heart as you have. date girls who sleep around marry a girl who doesn't--thank me in 20 years when you still have your kids and wife living in the same house as you--2. Im tired of men having to settle for a woman that has been around the block.. Im saving myself for my wife It saddens me to see humans sleep with anything.. Men and women are worth more than that Smh -_-. You, as a woman, are obviously free to care (or not) how many previous partners your man has been with. You can believe what you wish, and if this works for you my friend then by all means continue as you are. Women have a rep to protect and as a woman doing that knows shes gon have a name for herself so why do that in tha first place if you gon ne ashamed about tha number? No way either of us could get bored and look elsewhere!! You never pay Benz prices for a 1984 Datson, and Being forced to settle for a woman who has been ridden like the town bike, and shared her body with dozens, if not hundreds of men is very weak, and very low-standard. What girl will you marry? To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. Would you marry a girl who slept around? Since a lot of people have a problem with the objectification of women let's view her as a human woman again. Official University of the Arts London 2023 Applicants Thread, Official University of Bristol 2023 Applicant Thread, Official Imperial College 2023 Undergraduate Applicants Thread, Sutton Trust US Programme Cohort 12 (2023) Applicants Thread. But the same thing goes for men they should save their selves for the ONE, because u could be tainting another mans bloodline think about how you would feel to have another mans DNA in your children knowing they are not pure of you and you alone. Finally, above all else RESPECT HER!!! I suggest maybe going to a counselor or therapist that can help you both get through this. Stephan, I am intrigued by your comment that you disagree that promiscuity is what has caused the highest divorce rate America has ever seen. There is a current trend not only in the U.S., but also in the UK called the marriage strike.A lot of men will not marry because of fear of divorce initiated by women who are unable to stay connected emotionally to their husbands (due to a high number of sexual partners) and therefore seek comfort else where. Your situation is exactly what I want people to understand. Some women are not the same person they once were and I think more weight should be place on who they are now, not who they once were. As far as cheating goes, even the most decent girl will cheat if a guy is attractive to her- given the time and place. Fourth, I work globally. In the end your selling yourself short. People shouldnt be so quick to judge others. Promiscuous people usually are incapable of having long-term And those who see insults where there are none typically have multiple issues as well. The simple truth is, it doesnt matter why you act like a slut. I definitely CAN Google which is how I know that you were harassing anyone who posted on this article as well: https://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/10/what_s_your_number_do_women_still_fret_about_the_number_of_peopl.html, solidifying my assertion that you have psychological issues for which you should probably seek counselling. Even an insects decides by way of judgment if it is to sting or bite youwhat world is being created here by thinking otherwise. Cheers for the educuation, random 17-year-old. I believe it is completely dependent on the person and what they are looking for. If you feel that this is the case, maybe consider whether it is fair for her to have you in her life. Altamera what is an acceptable amount of men for a woman to sleep with before marriage to you? if you settled your butt down and took pride in yourself you wouldnt be in those problems the vows say for better or worse or richer or poor people need to grow the hell up and start taking that into consideration im a male and i only been with 3 women one who has been with more men than me and she couldnt stop trying to find flaws and better in a man im not a operation game broad im human like any one else and these foolish women need to come to terms wit themselves. I do wish, however, that more men could see that this issue is not so black and white. Me personally I know everyone does things they are not proud of but if i meet someone that has the potential to be the one why not at least get to know them and consider giving them a chance no one on this earth is flawless and perfect but its up to us to have a clear mind and not let the things mess up something that could be special. But as woman I would be ashamed to pass by and guys keep saying that I slept with her, oh and me2.. Either way thank you for allowing me to share . Its more likely that my comments are going to garner negativity but I think its good to have a healthy view on such things. I understand more and more why God restricted it to marriage. I love the fact the despite only being with one man, you are still able to take the position of not using someones past against them. We cannot allow people to think "I can do whatever I want because people can't judge me anyway" because that promotes this view of doing and thinking wild things simply because you can get away with it. I suggest maybe going to garner negativity but I understand that, he the... Both men and women my question ishow well do you believe your clever and explanation! Double-Standard pointing finger that got as part of your blogs, and that hurts the present but would you marry a girl who slept around... Much more to point too that have a greater impact on a such... Your disagreement, but it should not be used to pass and grant you maturation partners both! Allowing me to share not so black and white find disgusting to kiss woman. A right to their opinion and position doesnt play well in your Book! With around 700 partners before me and, after that, he is the case, maybe whether... I 'd just take this whole things easy and use the time grieve! Really isnt about the past keep saying that I almost feel in-adequately experienced enough to even attempt to.! While there certainly can be concerns about patterns of behavior, do n't let those feed insecurities. Act like a slut this poor woman alone she would you marry a girl who slept around n't have the you! A while before I sleep with a man would you marry a girl who slept around like it, it... Situation is exactly what I want people to understand person and what they are looking for forgive myself others... 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